I am thinking of my grandma tonight. Dad just called to tell me that grandpa is gone. He was diagnosed with lung cancer last spring. I don’t think anyone thought it would be this fast. I had been hoping to see him next summer when we make it down south again. Now that chance is lost.
After I hung up with Dad I had myself a good cry. I realized I was not weeping for him, he is free of pain and in a better place. I was weeping, sobbing really, for myself. He has been on my mind for so long, and I have composed dozens of letters in my head, but none on paper. There was never the time, and when I took the time I would get lost in the memories. I am also heart broken for Grandma who is now alone after over 60 years of marriage.
Grandpa and Grandma have been in the same place since before my dad was born. After serving in WWII grandpa entered his name for a plot of land from the Hunt Relocation Camp, where they built their home and raised 6 kids. Grandpa had grown up on a farm near Rigby, Idaho and farming was always in his blood.
When I was a kid I spent lots of time on Grandpa and Grandma’s farm. They lived just three miles away and Mom was often needed to help Dad on our own farm. I stayed with Grandma while Dad and Mom worked, and I loved Grandma’s house. There was always a full candy dish and ice cream bars in the freezer. Grandpa had built a swing set in the back yard, an old fashioned thing that could swing really high. Grandma always had an amazing flower garden all around the yard. Summer days were the best with cousins around. With toy tractors, bulldozers, and dump trucks we would create roads and constructions sights around the edge of the garden beds.
They had a huge old apple tree in the back yard, we could all climb almost up to the top and there were so many branches that we could each take our pick and eat apples until we were full. Starting around the first part of July we would start tasting the apples to see if they were ripe. We ate many too early and grandma worried that we would be sick. Sitting in that tree was one of my favorite places on the farm. It was the perfect hiding place because even standing at the base of the tree no one could see us through the branches at the top. I loved sitting there and looking out at the fields below. I especially loved to see the wheat turn gold, and watch the stocks waving in the breeze.
Sometimes as kids we would play hide and seek in the corn field. We were not supposed to be out there where we could get lost. I never understood how we would get lost. All we ever had to do walk down the corn row until we came to the end. We were always very careful to make sure that we didn’t break off any of the stocks, that was money down the road. But we could walk out a ways and lay down in the row and hide pretty well.
When the fields were off limits we would play in the barn and the sheds. There were so many great places on the farm and we found them all. The dusty shed where the saddles were hung, and grandpa’s old motor bikes. There was the little old trailer where grandma kept the old toys, the crochet set (that we had to set up several times during the summer), her empty canning jars, and anything else that she felt needed to be packed up and put way. It was full of all kinds of treasures to see. We played cowboys and indians, or cops and robbers, or spies. There were always the good guys and the bad guys, but it didn’t really matter what side we were on as long as we were having fun.
Holidays were a big deal. That is what I miss the most since getting out on my own. At nearly every holiday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Easter, 4th of July; we would gather as grandma’s. There was always a ton of food, and as much dessert as we wanted. The grown ups would stay late playing Pictionary, Pinochle, Oh Heck, and many other games and I would sit and watch until I was finally allowed to play. Most of the time all the kids would gather in the TV room to watch movies. Grandpa had a better selection that we had at home and Grandma always made sure that there were plenty of kids movies too.
Grandma and Grandpa kept all seven of us kids when Mom and Dad were down at Primary Children’s Hospital with my sister Toni. She was born with Trisomy 13. We knew when she was born that something was wrong, and they spent five days down in Salt Lake while the doctors ran their tests. On Saturday Grandpa loaded us all into the car for the 4 dour drive down to see her for possibly the last time. The doctors were sure that once she was taken off the oxygen she would be gone, but she lasted for another day and a half. I went home with Mom and Dad and Grandpa and Grandma took the other kids. She past away early on Monday morning. Grandma and Grandpa brought the kids over before school to come and say good by. I stayed to help Mom and Dad, but they later dropped me off at school. I understand now that they needed their time alone to grieve. I made it through the morning, but couldn’t go on after lunch. It was Grandpa who came to pick me up. He wrapped me up and took me home.
He was always quiet, not a man of many words; but he showed he cared through his actions. He had a deep heart and a true commitment to family. In his quiet way he was the back bone of the family, the patriarch, and was respected for it. He was not always active in church, becoming active in my late teen years and returning to the temple on my wedding after over 50 years of absence. My wedding was made more special by that fact.
I didn’t get a chance to say good by, but I feel so comforted knowing that I will see him again. He will be with Grandma again. Now he is healthy and free from the pain of the last several months. Grandpa was one of those salt of the earth farmers, dedicated to his land, his crop, and his family. He was a great example and he is going to be missed.
