Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Too Many Good Bye’s

Yesterday I stood at the ferry dock with Sam as she said good bye to her best friend, Dara.  Sam and Dara have been almost inseparable since the first day of kindergarten.   Sam is my shy child, at least for the first 5 minutes after you meet her.   She had been really nervous going to her first day of school.   She was looking forward to doing all the things Alyssa got to do, but she was scared because she would not know anyone.   That only lasted until she got to the door of her class room.  Sam has an infectious spirit and she gets along with everyone, and she was so excited to come home and tell me all about the two girls she met that lived close to us.  For the past four years Dara and Morgan have been a fixture in our home.  Not many days go by without one or both of them coming by to ride bikes, play, or call to invite Sam over.  She has been really lucky to have two such wonderful friends, and I love having them in our home.  They have come to church activities with us, sleepovers, parties,  and play dates.   If ever we could not find Sam, we never had to look very far.

Living in a Coast Guard community we have seen our share of friends come and go.  Summer can be an exciting time to meet the new friends moving in, but almost every year we have to see someone go.  This year Sam is saying good by to the Overcash family, and her best friend.  For several months Sam has started to cry remembering that Dara’s family is transferring to North Carolina.  Since school was out we have had a sleep over every week with Dara being the friend of choice more often than not. 

So yesterday found the two of us standing down on the ferry dock with cookies and balloons in hand.  Sam and Dara both putting on a brave face for a couple of pictures. (The pictures will have to come later as I didn’t think to grab my camera.)   Dara’s mom and I trying to hold back the tears ourselves.  They had just a few short minutes to talk before they were called back to the car to begin loading.  As we watched them walk away the tears really began, Sam sobbing and my own tears mingling in as I hugged her tight.  There is not much I can say to make her feel better.  She has other friends, but like her mother, she becomes really attached to people.   Saying good bye sometimes is just too hard. 

It has been an emotional week for me as well.  The tears keep falling of their own free will, and my heart is broken for my own dear friend.  Living so far  away from family, our church and our friends have become family.   One of the many friends that I have had to say good bye to over the years is Tiffany Banks.  Tiffany became a great friend for our first three years in Kodiak, doing many things together.  We were even pregnant together.    With babies on our backs we went hiking and to the beach.  We even took a belly dancing class together through the college and preformed at Crab Fest.  In all my time with Tiffany I saw the kind of person I wanted to be.  She was patient with kids, willing to teach others and share of herself, and she was truly compassionate.  

Last Wednesday on July 7 we got word that a Coast Guard Helicopter stationed in Sitka had gone down.  Chad called me to let me know and said call  Tiffany to make sure Brett is ok.  They had transferred to Sitka three years ago and  Brett was a flight mechanic on the helicopters.  I didn’t have her number anymore, so I got on facebook to look it up.  She had posted, “Pray for Brett”.    That told me he was on the downed ‘copter.  We still did not know, but I posted that we were praying.  Within minutes Terri Musgrave,  another long lost friend called.  She had seen my post and had  just got the news, Brett didn’t make it.   We cried together for Tiffany, for her two boys, and for the little girl who will be born in September without a father.

Today I watched the Coast Guard Memorial Service  that was broadcast from Sitka.  Tears could not be stopped as I identified Tiffany walk in and sit on the front row.  I could see her, but she was still so far away, and I felt helpless in her suffering.  We were created to be compassionate people, and my heart was breaking for her.    I ached to give her a hug when she was presented with a flag followed by the 21 gun salute and the playing of taps.  

Brett

Many times when we say good bye it is with the hope that we will see each other again.   As I told Sam standing out on the dock, we can always email and call.  Maybe they will come back to Kodiak someday.  I know I was looking forward to Brett and Tiffany possibly coming back next year.   For now the tears keep coming for the friends who are gone, the ones we love and miss.   And prayers continue for Tiffany and her family.

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